I wrote this a couple of months ago or so. I think I’ll have a follow up on it from a different perspective. In other words, its no good to point out a problem without desiring to be part of the solution. So yes, this is negative in part, but I’m moving past the problem now, and am ready to be used of God, whatever that is.
A Frustration:
How do I express the frustration within me right now? I have random conversations with my friends and even myself about these frustrations. They sound good then, but when I go to write it down, I seem to be at a loss for words. I want to write the following words carefully and prayerfully. For they are words meant to stir the complacent and fearful.
But first, I’ll start with me. Over the past few months a lot has happened. Most of this has come in the form on thinking where I stand in Christ, and where I belong in His plan for me.
I struggle with his love for me. People tell me that God is trustworthy- that he is my father, and I can tell him anything. That he loves me no matter what!
An Unrest:
There is something deep within me that wants something more than this Christianity that I live- this Christianity that lets insecurity and fear rule me. The idea that I claim to be a Christian, but seem to find it impossible to claim the promises of peace and love of that position.
A Desire:
It is from this that I discovered I MUST beyond all cost find and know who I am in Christ…and where my true identity lies. See, I feel like I have to be doing everything perfect so God will love me, or be pleased with me. Is this right? Should this thinking exist in the Christian? With all my heart I want to love God, because I want to, because I want to please him. I don’t even like the word “please.” It had a connotation of being distant. I don’t please my father. I don’t please my best friend. I don’t please my future wife/girlfriend. On the other hand I want to:
To know love:
I want approval from my father. And not just a “I approve of you”, but an attitude of approval that says, “Yes, my son I approve of you because you are trying your best, because out of love and hard work you are gaining my approval, but don’t you see that all the hard work in the world is not going earn my approval, I love you regardless.” It reminds me of the movies that show a son always trying to gain the approval of the father and never getting it. The kind of approval I’m talking about is that one that says, “I approve of you simply because you are my son, it’s not about earning…it’s about belonging.” Isn’t that the cry of every human being, to be loved regardless?
I want my best friend to listen to me, and not criticize me for doing something stupid. But listen to me and give me wise advice.
I want to show love to my wife/girlfriend simply because I love them. I need no other reason than that.
Torn:
Now, why isn’t it that simple with God? Wait…it is! So how do I get so lost and so muddled. I’m struggling and am torn between these two opposites; between these two ways of living, two ways of thinking, and two theologies.
Conclusion:
This first section is to wrap up where I am in life. What’s going through my mind, and maybe give some insight to the struggles that I’m going through. The next section is directed at the church, specifically the Holiness Movement. And this is where I express frustration. Because I believe that some of the problems…not all, but some of the problems that I am dealing with right now, have a direct relationship to the Holiness Movement and HOW they have projected the truth.
Where is the Church now?
Reaching for what was:
I believe the church is in great confusion. And from now on “church” refers to the Holiness Movement. There is a great generational gap. The previous generation is desperately trying to reclaim our current “lost” generation. However, I think here in lies some of the problem, they think that if our generation get’s on the “right road” as it were, that automatically, hand in hand, standards and lifestyle should follow.
Not being clear:
Sometimes, I’m honestly confused when preachers get up and preach. One minute they’re talking about backsliders and the next moment they’re talking about a slip of standards that they once held to. Is there anyway we can keep these topics separate. Last time I checked…. standards and dare I say lifestyle; have nothing to do with salvation. It is grace and grace alone. Please note, I didn’t say lifestyle won’t be changed, but salvation DOES NOT hang on lifestyle. We know this, but we don’t live it or project it.
Of course these preachers know that, and would probably admit just as much. Then please, please…stop preaching in such a way that they go hand in hand.
Misplaced Relationship:
See, somewhere we got it backwards. There was a time when relationship with God was most important. Because of that relationship a lifestyle was born, and so it should. Over the years, relationship became synonymous with lifestyle, until lifestyle became the dominant factor in our salvation. No, we would never preach that, but just by the way we lived, we implied it. We look down on those with out even meaning to because they dressed differently. I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong that is.
An Example:
This brings me to another side topic. And proves to me why we are in trouble. I was recently talking to some friends who share some of the same frustration. While we never preach that standards are salvation, like I said, we live it sometimes. See whenever they would do something “wrong,” may it be listening to music, buying on Sunday, or whatever “infraction” they did, they would get in trouble or called out.
The preacher would literally confront them in a very direct, cut and dry way and in public in front of others. This preacher would give scripture verses to prove his point and given the opportunity preach against music saying that the “beat” was wrong and that the words were wrong, promoting a wrong lifestyle. Now, I’m not sure how you can take the Bible and imply that the beat is bad, but that’s not the point. I also found out that the preacher took the lyrics out of context in these songs.
Have we seriously boiled down our preaching and “confrontation” down to this! There was no loved involved, and frankly in some of these circumstances, it was very rude and inappropriate. They are NOT giving our generation good answers that are backed up with the Bible. This confrontation is not being done out of love, it’s being done out of fear. This is not an isolated event, this happens all over the holiness movement. While our kids are involved in pornography, pre-marital sex we confront them about listening to music we don’t even know about. We don’t even try to understand the music. We hear a couple of lines and write it off without understanding. And what’s more, it’s the kids who are trying to make a difference that are being confronted, not the ones who are truly in trouble.
We don’t mind confronting kids about music or dress, but God forbid we would try and help one of our kids who deal with porn or homosexuality. We are a generation crying for more of God, and all the church as to offer is criticism with no true Scripture to back it up. I probably didn’t come close to explaining this as clear as I wanted to, but every time I hear something like this happen; something in me churns with anger and frustration.
Our Future?
Unfortunately, we now live in a generation where relationship and lifestyle are both being thrown out the window. We are starting to look else where for answers to life. Within our whole beings we want a relationship with God, and the church doesn’t offer that anymore. They don’t preach it or teach it any more. We have failed to make disciples. We only make puppets. This is how it goes:
A pattern:
Get Saved
Get Sanctified (A quick note on sanctification. The church makes this so confusing. I think I have heard maybe two or three sermons where the preacher says, “This really isn’t confusing,” and then proceeds to make it confusing. I also heard a time when one preacher got up to explain sanctification, and the next day another preacher got up and “corrected” the other preacher. Preachers within our own movement can’t even agree on it completely!)
After these two things…what is left. See we all know there is more growing in Christ, but this last one is pushed so much and we don’t even understand it.
A good reason:
Sometimes I wonder why preachers are even coming close to mentioning standards as if this will bring back a glory that they once experienced in the “old days.” We don’t want to hear what was. You see, we will never hold to your standards if you don’t give us a good reason to. We no longer are willing to just accept what is told us. We want and demand a reason. Actually we don’t want a reason, remember were giving them up, because we have discovered there isn’t a reason. Do you know what we really want? We want a relationship with God.
The basics lost:
And the do’s and do not’s are SO ingrained into us, that we no longer know what it means for God to truly love us. We are a torn generation and a lost one. Not because of standards and a lifestyle, but because we don’t even know the basics of discipleship and Christianity.
Our true hunger:
We are no longer the generation that just wants to do away with standards and rebel. No, we are looking for something deeper that goes beyond our thinking and us. We are looking for a hope and a vision. We are hungering for God. And we need and demand it of the church or we will move on.
We will take over:
This next generation is fast coming upon you, and you dare not let us take over with these doubts and questions. Or we will throw them out, you must lay a foundation, you must start with the basics.
Or we leave:
You may think people are leaving the church because the music is better over there, or over there they don’t up hold quite the standards. No, we are leaving because life and passion have become a distant memory held in the minds of a past generation. The Holiness Movement is no longer moving….it is sitting. Nothing drives the church anymore.
Fear… the reason:
Fear has taken over. Fear that maybe all the previous generation has worked so hard to preserver is being lost. If you start focusing on a relationship with God and leave lifestyle alone…perhaps you’ll save that lifestyle. But I guarantee it, if you keep preaching lifestyle and don’t get back to the basics of relationship you WILL lose it, I promise.
Do NOT misunderstand:
You think I write this because I’m going to save the holiness movement. Because I don’t want the standards. Because I don’t like the idea of sanctification. Because I want to be rebellious. Because I don’t like the hard core preaching. No this isn’t about lifestyle or standards, this is all about wanting to see Christ at the very center of it all, and then everything else falls in place as it should.
No, I say this, because deep down, this is the frustration and heart cry of a generation that needs answers, because WE ARE looking elsewhere. See most of you will read this and write it off as a rebellious person. I bet you already have scripture verses lined up in your head and statistics to start listing off. I don’t care. If a defensive spirit is what rises in you have reading this, you have missed the point of this entire letter.
You know, I could be wrong in much of what I say. This wasn’t meant to be a research paper or a fact-finding mission. Why, you may ask? Because these are my feelings, and these feelings are shared by this generation. I am expressing a frustration, and anger, and my feelings that will no longer stay silent.
Challenge:
I challenge you, the church and its people to no longer be held to fear, but to step out and confront the problem. We do have a problem, if you don’t think we do. You are blind.
